Only a Texan knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
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Only a Texan knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
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Only a Texan can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
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Only a Texan knows exactly how long "directly" is, .... As in: "Going to town, be back directly."
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Even Texas babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
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All Texans know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
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Only a Texan knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold tater salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large nanner puddin!
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Only Texans grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece."
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They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
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Only a Texan both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po white trash.
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No true Texan would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
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A Texan knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
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Only Texans make friends while standing in lines, .... And when we're "in line," ..... We talk to everybody!
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Put 100 Texans in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
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In Texas , y'all is singular, .... All y'all is plural.
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Texans know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
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Every Texan knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
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When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Texan!
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Only true Texans say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
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And a true Texan knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" .... And go your own way.
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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Texanness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
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And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Texas stuff, ... Bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Texanness as a second language!
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And for those that are not from Texas but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from Texas , but I got here as fast as I could."
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TEXAS WOMEN
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Texas women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.
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Texas women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"
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Texas women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"
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Texas women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
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Texas women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The beach
The beach
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Texas women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint
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Texas women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
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Texas women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
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Texas women know their religions:
Baptist
Pentecostal
Football
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Texas women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with homemade jelly
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Texas women know their cities dripping with Texas charm:
Fort Worth (Foat Wuth)
New Orleans (N'awlins)
Austin (Awstan)
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Texas women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
George Strait , of course!
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Texas girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon
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Texas girls know the four deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
Wearing too much makeup in the summer
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Texas girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah!
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Now......Shugah, send this to some girls who were raised in Texas or wish they had been!
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If you're a Northern transplant, "Bless your little heart", fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could!
